By Amanda Lupis, The Become Her Now Method
Does it feel harder than ever to truly rest, to slow down and feel replenished again? As we leave one year behind and step into a new twelve-month cycle, we’re given a quiet opportunity to do something different: to prioritise rest and rebalance before we rush forward.
And if you’ve felt more tired, more sensitive, or simply not like yourself lately - you’re not alone. Many women feel guilty when they slow down. Life can feel like a constant hamster wheel, always moving, always producing, always tending to the next thing. The to-do list never really ends.
And yet, especially during perimenopause, our bodies are asking for more rest than ever. And rest doesn’t only mean sleeping. It can mean anything that brings you back to yourself - mentally, emotionally, physically. Still, we don’t give it. And if we do, guilt often follows — the sense that we should be doing something more “productive” instead.
One thing I love about living in Sydney is that January invites a slower pace. Many people are away, children are on school holidays, work eases slightly, and resting is almost... accepted. It took me years to learn how to honour this. I used to hit the ground running every January 1st, already exhausted from the year before.
This is one reason so many people abandon their goals by March. We try to build momentum without first restoring ourselves. We skip the part where capacity is rebuilt. One of the greatest lessons perimenopause has taught me — again and again — is that my mental and physical health must come first. This has not been easy to learn. I’m a mother of three, I run a thriving coaching practice, I’m married, and I have a dog. Women aren’t taught how to meet their needs. We’re taught to work hard, keep going, and sacrifice ourselves.
I grew up believing self-sacrifice was strength and I had to learn, the hard way, that caring for myself is strength, too. When I rest, rebalance, and repair, I’m calmer, steadier, and I actually have something to give. When I’m run down, I’m doing life on fumes… and that version of me isn’t the one I want leading my days or showing up for the people I care about. I’ve learned the best thing I can do for the people I love isn’t to push harder — it’s to repair.
When perimenopause arrived and I could no longer function the way I once did, I had to adjust my expectations of myself. I had to learn how to rest without guilt.
To have fulfilling relationships with others, we must first have a relationship with ourselves. That means listening to our bodies and intentionally making space for what we need. We rarely hesitate to show up for our children or work commitments - yet many women never schedule time for themselves.
Rest doesn’t take away from your capacity. It builds it.
In January, I don’t set goals. I give myself permission to think. To daydream. To imagine the woman I’d like to be by the end of the year — and what I realistically have the capacity to hold. From that place, I choose one meaningful goal in February and work toward it steadily.
I also protect my evenings. My phone goes off at 8 pm for the night — non-negotiable. A gentle alarm reminds my brain that it’s time to wind down. No scrolling. No stimulation. I even bought a Kindle so I wouldn’t read on my phone.
And a few times a year especially in January I schedule what I call my cocoon time. I block several days purely for rest. Sleep. Stillness. Like a bear in hibernation. Recently, with my family and support, I gave myself permission to truly rest. Meals were handled. Laundry was done. The dog was walked. I slept deeply. I read. I napped. I went to bed early. I connected - without carrying the weight of keeping everything running. I bought new pyjamas. I chose books I wanted to read. I watched shows I wanted to watch. And most importantly, I rested without guilt. That is the power of intentional rest. Your needs are met, and you return feeling grounded, clear, and connected to yourself again.
Sleep is often disrupted during perimenopause, and this is how I gently “bank” rest for seasons when I know I’ll need it. You may not have days available — and that’s okay. Perhaps it’s a full Saturday and a slow Sunday morning. Rebalancing doesn’t have to be dramatic to be effective.
Perimenopause — and menopause — can be a gift, if we choose to see it that way. When we stop arguing with reality, mental strain eases. Something softens. Intentional rest resets the nervous system. Emotions settle. What once felt overwhelming begins to feel manageable again. As this new year unfolds, I invite you to schedule rest — not as a luxury, but as a necessity.
Choose to rebalance when your body asks.
Rest isn’t falling behind. Sometimes, it’s how you come back to yourself.
